Where We Are

My children will usually have simultaneous tantrums.  It’s like dominoes; they set each other off and down we go.  Melt-downs range from fighting for candy at breakfast to late night video game rendezvous.

During these times I have an internal battle: cave and get some {momentary} silence or adamantly maintain my stance and teach them a {valuable} lesson: that is not how they get want they want.  I usually opt for the latter.  They go somewhere quiet, feel their emotions {hey, it is valid to be angry that sweets are not a suitable breakfast} and then come back and we find a solution together.

I’ve realized: I am fighting a losing battle.  The world is in a destructive place where it insists that you get what you want by making a scene. At every turn we are being told to avoid compromise.  We are promoting an idea that if you are hysterical enough you can have what you want.

We find it easy to teach our children these lessons when they are toddlers.  But they grow, and somehow, we have started showing them that we lied.    I implore you to not submit to these notions.

I will teach my children to compromise.

Yes, it is necessary and {shock of shocks} healthy.  You will find the greatest joys in listening without responding.  You will find the most meaningful relationships in making mutual sacrifices.

I will teach my children that they aren’t entitled.

Yes, you will have to work to accomplish your goals.  No, you will not be handed your dreams.  If you don’t get it, you didn’t earn it.  Try again.  Only you stand in your way.

I will teach my children to practice empathy.  Always.

Yes, your opinions are important and valid.  So are your enemy’s.  So are your comrade’s.  Seek to understand all of them.  And never forget, opinions are just that.  Do not mistake them for fact.

I will teach my children that happiness is not found in anyone.

Yes, you will experience happy moments with special people.  But, they cannot make you happy.  Relying on that will destroy all your beautiful relationships.  Jesus is where true eternal peace and ever lasting joy lies {yes, I went there}.

I will teach my children the if’s and then’s of life.

If you want real change, then take real action.  If you want real love, then give selflessly.  If you blame the world for your failure, then you will never be successful.

You aren’t owed anything.  You earn everything.

The world won’t change for you.  Change the world.

Go to a quiet place, feel your emotions and come back so we can find a {real} solution together…

…in marriage, in politics, in religion, in finances, in parenting, in equality, in anything and everything.

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