A {real} Love Letter

To my babes:

For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a mother.  I am not sure what I was drawn to in motherhood, but I yearned for it.

The first time each of you were placed in my arms I was overwhelmed.  I was terrified,  instantly bonded, and overcome with a sense of familiarity.  Perhaps you were the angels that kept me going all those years ago when I did not know if I would make it.  You saved me before I even knew you.

When you cried as a newborn, it was easy to soothe you.  As the years have passed, it has gotten harder to dry your tears.  I can only imagine what the future will bring.  I know you will have your heart shattered.  I will do my best to mend it, but I know that only time will heal what has been broken.  The scars left behind can make you stronger, but do not mistake that strength with callousness.

Your tenacious spirits will be challenged.  As time passes, you will be tempted to sacrifice yourself for causes that are disguised as worthy.   My hope is that you will be able to find the balance in standing up for what is right and condemning what is wrong.  There will be times you will find yourself fighting {seemingly} alone for causes that appear lost.  It will be in those moments that you will discover your true character and the character of those around you.

There will come a time, all too soon, where you will not be satisfied with my explanations to your questions.  You will seek answers elsewhere.  Those answers may guide you into darkness.

Do not be deceived into believing that you must dabble in the evils of this world in order to experience it’s beauty.  You will not find yourself more empathetic for sacrificing your morals or succumbing to the temptations.

Empathy is not the result of doing.  Often times it comes from closing your mouth and opening your ears; knowing when to listen and when to speak.

I hope that I have given you the tools to embrace your faith as He will provide you resilience in your weakness and comfort in your fear.  Remember, His voice is the one that whispers in the quiet.

I wish I could spare you all things painful and shower you in happiness.  I want you to know that if I could, I would.  A lesson I am learning is that you will want to make your own way.  It will hurt me to watch you stumble {and even fall}, but I hope to have prepared you to keep going.

I know that I will be guiding you for a little while longer.  I promise to uphold the honor in this incredible role I have been given.   I am sorry for the times I will undoubtedly fail.

You, my little loves, bring more beauty to this world than you will ever realize.  Share it freely with others.

Love,

Momma

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