Up and Down

congrats-sleep-saturday-old-age-funny-ecard-MJt

I once was energetic.  And then I had kids.  Now I observe energy and wonder how it is utilized so easily and effectively by humans that never sleep.

I was also a bit more pliable.  Now, I watch enviously as my six year old does the splits, {mind you she has never taken a gymnastic course in her life} and then proceeds to get back up — independently.

Show off.

My kids flaunt their continuous tumbling across the lawn.  I try to do a cartwheel and my abdominal muscles {and I use the term ‘muscles’ loosely} rip apart.  Hand stands make me lightheaded.  Just kidding.  I cannot do anything that remotely resembles a hand stand. I remember the days where I would spin around in circles.  For fun.  Now, Ring Around the Rosy makes me dizzy.

In my younger years, any flexibility and strength I possessed were taken for granted.  These days, stretching during yoga is actually comparable to a complete cardio workout.  I have to avoid crunches otherwise I will look like a cockroach when I try to get out of position.  Good thing I have kids; they can help me get off the ground.

A life alert button is actually starting to make sense.  I have muttered the phrase “I have fallen and I can’t get up,” more than once in the recent present.

Case and point.

One year old standing on the couch looking like she could fall off.

In true 6 am, barely awake fashion, I jump into action.

Unbeknownst to me, the ‘no spill’ sippee cup had spilled all over the floor.

Then I fell.

Hard.

And I could not get back up.

And then I died{ish}.

PSA: Do not, under any circumstance, believe a ‘no spill’ sippee cup to be, in fact, no spill.  They should be re-labeled ‘how the hell are my kids supposed actually get any liquid out of this’ sippee cup.  Oh, that’s right, put it on the ground so it can spill out.  But, I digress.

That was 3 weeks ago.

I am still recovering.

My leg remains bruised.  Apparently re-absorption of pooled blood under the skin takes longer in your 30’s.  I have yet to resume my daily{ish} yoga because I am afraid that I might actually become stuck in child’s pose.

Oh how I miss the days where I could not understand the phrase:

Not know honey, my back hurts.

And that is in reference to giving my kids piggy- back rides, by the way.

I had no idea that getting out of bed in the morning could be so noisy.  I was blissfully unaware that you could cause injury to yourself during sleep.

Overall, I am enjoying my 30s.  They are proving to be quite an amazing set of years.  But, I am not gonna lie; I kind of miss the days where I could do a back bend and not require a cocktail of anti-inflammatories for the next several weeks.

They say you are as old as you feel. 

 It is pretty hard to feel 18 when you sound like milk covered Rice Krispies going up and down the stairs.

Snap, crackle, pop.

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