Baby Registry Rip-offs

There have been quite a few changes to baby items since I had my first nearly a decade ago.  During that time, several gimmicks have hit the market.  I have been conned into believing I needed some of the most overrated items.  So, what is a seasoned momma to do when she realizes she has been duped?  Pass along her newly discovered wisdom via a blog, obviously.  You are welcome.

The top 3 items you will be bamboozled into believing are necessary…

Bottle warmers

Just no.  It takes up precious space in the diaper bag.  It costs quite a few dollars.  And it doesn’t work.  Maybe they have become more sophisticated in 10 years, but I was not impressed.

Allow me to set the stage with a real life example:

You finally work up the nerve to take your baby outside into the real world.  You feed him/her prior to leaving your sanctuary.  You figure you will take a bottle just in case; because you always pack the baby bag like you are going on a six day luxury vacation when you are in fact headed to the grocery store.  You are prepared.  But, baby doesn’t play by the rules.  He/she starts screaming due to starvation.  The one time your baby does not go 3 hours between feedings.  In this scenario, calmer heads prevail.  But, you feel the pressure of all the stares.  Relaxation is not on your mind.  And neither is warming up the God forsaken bottle.  Trust me when I tell you, a hungry baby will take a cold bottle.  And if they won’t, they need to face facts.  You don’t always get what you want, kid.  Is it ever too early to learn that?  Your life will be much easier if they do.   If you feel that is a wee bit harsh, I have just the thing!  A cup of hot water.  So, go to a restaurant, take a load off, be served, ask for a cup of hot water and warm that puppy up.  It works and water is {for all intents and purposes} free.

Just say no to bottle warmers.

Commercialized snack cups

There are all kinds of options for snack cups; they getcha with the safety lids.  They make you think your baby cannot spill from those cups.


Guys, I am here to tell you they will stick their hands into those safety lids and rip em right off.

No, just my children?

Irregardless, I have found something that works just as well: plastic cream cheese containers.  I love bagels.  I love bagels with cream cheese.  I am buying them anyway.  They are durable and cost effective.  They all look the same.  They are the same size.  No fighting from kids on who gets what color or who got a bigger cup with more cheerios.

Just say no to snack cups.

Burp clothes

Sure they are cute with their gender specific colors and little designs.  But, also about ten sizes too small and way too thin.

Burp clothes lead a new momma to believe that their child will spit up a teensy, cute amount.


Guys, when they “spit up” their performance is similar to that of The Exorcist.   They will miss the too tiny adorable burp cloth and soak up your favorite, albeit, filthy, ‘around the house’ tee.

So, what to do?

Cloth diapers.  And not the eco friendly bazillion dollar ones {oops, sorry, my bias is showing.  I assure you cloth diapering mommas, no judgement}.  The white, old school ones- thick, large, durable…absorbent.  Perfect burp clothes.

Just say no to {actual} burp clothes.

On the flip side, if you are looking for must haves here you go:

Bottles, bottles, bottles.  And nipples.  Bottle nipples that is.

Whether you breast or bottle feed… you need bottles.  And not the fancy $15 dollar bottles that “keep the air out” , “mimic a breast” or whatever the tag line is.

Gerber.  Under $5 for 3 bottles.  Stock up.

You think you will have time and energy to rinse out each bottle after each feeding.  And subsequently sterilize it…aw, that’s cute.  Let me break it down for you.

You will find curdled cottage cheese bottles weeks after using them.  Under your couch.  Under your bed.  And then you will have a screaming baby who wants a dang bottle and you can’t find a clean one to save your life.  That’s when you bust into your stash.

Trust me on the bottles.

Any bouncy seat or swing that vibrates.

If it doesn’t vibrate, it’s useless.  ‘Nuff said.

Ergo carrier

I’ve tried all the carriers…Ergo is where it is at.

You might be tempted to think babies sleep.  That their nap time will be a time for you to catch up on mundane household chores.  Excuse me while I kindly snicker; not at you, at the concept of sleep.

No, mommas.  They want to be held.  All.the.time.  So, while they are awake and laundry has piled up and your sink is starting to smell like the sewage plant, pop em in the Ergo and take care of bizniss.

They are nice and snug and their necks don’t threaten to snap in half when you bend over to pick something up.  Sure, you could use a hand to hold their heads in place every time you make a position change, but then that defeats the purpose.  You need all the hands you can get.

Trust me on the Ergo.

And if you are a nursing momma, here is a bonus round:

Essentials in breastfeeding:

Medela pump

I have tried all the pumps in an effort to save money.  But, I ended up spending hundreds of dollars avoiding the inevitable.  Medela is quiet, effective and durable.  It has lasted me several babies and is still going strong.  Don’t waste precious pumping time and breast milk on a manual pump or off label device that will suck those nips raw.  You have a baby to do that.

Nursing cover

Must have.  So much better than a blanket.  Doesn’t slide down.  Doesn’t cover baby’s face and make em all sweaty; making you wonder if they are eating or suffocating.  Greatest invention ever.

Trust me on the cover.

Happy baby shopping, mommas!


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