W.A.I.T. It Out

I recently listened to an interview with Tom Hanks on Ellen where he said he has learned a lot by listening rather than speaking. Before he speaks he thinks to himself:

Why Am I Talking.

I find this advice to be brilliant.

And needed.

And something everyone should do.

There are many a things posted online (and in life) that are poorly received; followed by a knee jerk reaction; followed by talking AKA not listening.

Things are generally taken wrong because they are misinterpreted.

They are usually misinterpreted because no one asks for context.

Assumptions are made and people become angry about said assumptions.

It is social media, after all.

I started this Rebel Housewife journey three years ago with the intention of publishing a book and being a professional blogger. I wanted to inspire others like me (I know you are out there) and to encourage said others that they are not alone in their pain, struggles, and even triumphs.

One year ago, I stepped back and paused so that I could examine my,

Why am I doing this?

What do I want out of it?”

Are my intentions self-serving?

And to decide if I really want to put myself, my experiences, and my moments out in the world to be judged.

I am what you would call a politically correct person.

Incessant people pleaser.

Always trying to understand the other side. I’m not a fan of sides or stands unless that side and stand involves kindness, compassion, or equality.

Then, I’m loud.

I hope.

But I don’t like to ruffle feathers on the daily. Maybe that’s a sign of insecurity and fear.

Maybe it’s something I’ll change.

Maybe not.

I really don’t know.

I came back to the blog a month ago because after choosing not to end my life, I decided that I should create a life I enjoy living.

One that makes me feel.

That life includes writing.

It also includes an honest portrayal of what it is like being a married, working, battling at times all consuming anxiety, massive depression, often hanging on by a thread, middle class mom of five, who is just trying to find balance. And joy.

So that I can breathe another day.

I do not enjoy judgement. Or being perceived as making poor decisions.

But here’s the thing: I do make poor decisions.

Lots of them.

Financial ones.

Emotional ones.

Parenting ones.

All kinds of ones.

Who doesn’t?

I realize I am willingly opening myself to judgement by sharing in these spaces. Some will be kind in their judgement and provide insight combined with constructive criticism.

To you, I am eternally grateful.

Others will be ruthless.

To you, I’m learning.

I always do the best I can with the information that I have.

I hope that by joining me on my journey we will learn together.

Find community.

Listen to one another.

But if we don’t, that’s okay.

I am still going to keep going.

And one day I will look back and be thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned, experiences I’ve had, moments I’ve shared, and the life I’ve lived.

I hope you will too.

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