Something that we don’t talk about often is how hard therapy is because God, it can be hard. Working through trauma will gut you and challenge you and leave you questioning if healing is not just possible but if it is actually worth it.
I always liken therapy days to peeling the layers of an onion. I realize that I have only just begun paring away layers and there is oh so much more to go to get to the core and much like peeling an onion there will almost always be tears involved.
What I bring into my therapist’s office is rarely what I leave it with which is always a deeper understanding of what’s contributing to my mental load.
As someone who is on the never ending rollercoaster of understanding how trauma has interwoven itself into every facet of her mental illness and also her life and as someone who is constantly working on healing from the consequences of trauma, I just want to tell you it is worth it.
You probably want to know why and how and what makes it worth it and all I can say is that there is something about learning that you are worthy and lovable and loved that will lighten your chest and relax your muscles and free up space in your mind and send your spirit soaring in gratitude and increase your capacity to pour into others because you aren’t using all of your precious energy to hold onto a pain that you didn’t ask to endure.
So yes keep peeling the layers even when your eyes are blinded by the burning because one day you will wake up and realize that what you thought made you revolting and broken actually makes you resilient and beautiful and living a life free from the chains of unprocessed trauma is truly a life worth living.