Curi-YOGA-osity

I think I have mentioned a time or two that I am a yoga fanatic. Not to be dramatic or anything but it has changed my life. Whenever someone starts to talk to me about their anxiety or stress or really anything I’m all like “but have you tried yoga?”

Remember My Big Fat Greek Wedding where Tula’s dad’s magic cure for everything was Windex?

That’s me, except my Windex is yoga.

Now I haven’t studied yoga per say or it’s origin story. However,I’ve been coming to my mat long enough that wanting to know the ins and outs of it all is now on my bucket list.

I’m mentioning this because every year that I can remember, Yoga with Adriene (who I find somewhat of an inspiration but also read: I’m an absolute fan girl) starts the New Year off with a 30 day Yoga Journey. And every year, I start it with her. And every year for the past, oh I don’t know, three to five years I’ve made it like 15 days.

Which usually takes me 27 days just to get in 15 days. And then I’m done because if we are gonna be technical about it I did do 30 days of yoga. The “daily” part is a minor detail.

Not this year.

I’m going to do it.

I’m determined.

Can you sense the faux confidence in my words because it’s only day two and I’m already doubting my ability to succeed.

But seriously, Move- A 30 Day Yoga Journey. Here I come.

And if I had any sort of clout that would be quit the advertisement for Adriene. And yoga.

I digress.

Why am I suddenly determined to complete this challenge? Because I’m curious.

I want to know what is going to happen if I actually show up to my mat every single day for 30 straight days.

What will happen physically and mentally and emotionally and spiritually and all the -ally ways.

What will the discipline and consistency teach me?

Will my anxiety be better controlled? Because y’all. Real talk. The anxiety is currently threatening to swallow me whole (I will save that spiel for another blog post). I have not only been reaching into my toolbox for all the coping mechanisms, I am clinging to them tightly.

And maybe that is why I want to do this journey now. Yoga has helped manage my mental illness so beautifully that it would be a betrayal of self if I didn’t actually make the time to do this.

And side bar: you know what else yoga compliments so wonderfully? Jesus. When you are deep in breath and meditation it is a beautiful moment to invite prayer. And I wanted to say that because I know that there are a lot of people who think that mental illness can be managed by God and are probably shouting behind their screens “have you opened your bible to help with your anxiety” and the answer is yes. And the honest answer is not nearly enough but in addition to showing up consistently on my mat, I am working on showing up consistently in my faith.

This side bar is making it’s way into another blog post entirely so I’ll leave it at: if I have to rate the tools in my tool box, I’m clinging to Jesus first and yoga second.

Anyway.

When it comes to these kinds of things it feels like the results are out of our control. Like I can’t finish these things because of all the things that get in the way. Whether it is going to be sick kids or soul sucking pandemic days that leave me too exhausted to do anything else, it feels like our circumstances are in control of our actions.

And maybe they are.

But that kind of thinking makes my anxiety go through the roof. As an anxious person I have to find and root myself in what I can control.

So I have to remember that will always be happening around me. The road blocks are real. But how I respond is within my control and doing the things that keep me going…

… I do have control over that.

So I am going to finish this challenge, nay, journey with a plan. I am not going to think about day 30. I am going to think about day 2. And how and where I can fit in time on my mat. And then tomorrow I’ll think about day 3. I just need to continue to live in the present and remind myself (constantly) that I am worthy of doing the things that make me a better human.

And so are you. In case you ever doubted it.

And if that isn’t the definition of practice then I don’t know what is.

Also, let’s welcome in 2022 with this face.