I hid her for a long time.
But time and healing have brought new perspective. She’s chubby, flabby, saggy, stretchy, and strong and I love her. I am forever filled with gratitude for all she has given to me and experienced with me and survived for me.
I have been thinking how we may sometimes get the message that our bodies are less than desirable and that they are responsible for the trauma they’ve endured.
They should be small enough to fit in but take up just enough space to stand out. But not too much space because no one likes a big and loud and larger than life woman and we must remember that the most important thing is to be liked.
I have learned with age that I’m not a commodity that needs to have a five star review nor do I need approval ratings from those who are determined to misunderstand my journey.
And you know what? I don’t need acceptance from the masses. Even when I think I do. Because I was never going to get it anyway.
But self acceptance. That I can find.
I deserve to take up space.
And experience joy.
And find healing.
And I deserve to do it in the body that has been kind to me even when I I starved her and hated her and felt ashamed of her.
And yours does too.
Our bodies are beautiful and they deserve to be celebrated and respected for all they’re capable of and for all they have accomplished and for all they’ve endured.
And hey, it is okay if you’re still hiding her- I understand. But I do hope that one day you’ll find a softness in your story and accept her. I hope that you’ll recognize her immeasurable strength and resilience and find freedom from the misplaced shame that led her into hiding to begin with.
You’re going to be with her for the duration so offer her the same kindness she so freely gives to you and allow her to -I don’t know- live.
I promise, you’ll be glad you did. 💚
If you liked this, then you’ll love my book: “Was I Not Supposed to Say That?”
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