Guys. This hashtag mom life is hard. Like really really really hard and for us- the hard has been hard-ing on overtime these last few months.
I mean gut wrenchingly, heart breaking-ly, spirit shatteringly, difficult.
Raising teens in a world filled with unlimited technology disguised as mandatory connection is yet another unprecedented hurdle of our generation.
It’s forking with our mental health in a way that I think will be studied by future generations and eventually used to create a “what not to do to maintain a healthy society” manual.
Anyway.
The hard got so hard that it was bubbling out my eyeballs and three weeks ago I had a sudden and intense urge to escape reality.
To full on flee.
We desperately needed a change of pace not to mention scenery but so much of travel requires cash and time and freedom and that is a trifecta I am constantly striving towards but just can’t quite seem to reach.
My kids insist M.O.M. stands for ‘’made of money” and I must say I wish I was as affluent as they are clever but alas the barriers of time and money are very real.
I suppose one of the bittersweet things about having family scattered all across the literal globe is that I can impose my own family of seven on their living quarters and eat three square meals a day out of their fridge and that really reduces travel expenses.
My nearest relative is in Texas and that’s my sister and my kids last saw their cousins in 2019 and there’s been a whole global shift since we were all in the same room and I thought that extended family time was what the doctor ordered for our strained spirits.
And because my sister is the best, she opened her home (and fridge) to us on a moments notice and accommodated my slightly irrational whims.
Planning a last minute getaway that takes a half day to get to poses its own challenges. Lots of hurdles in the way of work and school and extracurriculars but somehow all the stars aligned and all the barriers melted away so simply that I knew this trip was backed by a higher power.
And by melted I mean forced.
However, there was one barrier I couldn’t overcome and that was the fact that my husband had responsibilities he couldn’t haphazardly abandon just because his wife had a wild hair.
Rude.
I am in my fourth decade of life and never have I ever gone on a road trip solo -let alone with five kids in tow -so if he couldn’t go it felt like we couldn’t go.
Because also he’s the family driver.
Now, it’s not that I’m co-dependent on my hubby, it’s that I am completely dependent on him. He is my strength and my calm and my logic and my rationale and my reassurance and he fills in the gap for all the things I lack.
But then I remembered the motto my #5 says on repeat and that motto is “I am a strong independent woman.”
So, I said it to myself enough times that I believed it and with my husband’s blessing I packed all six of us up and drove down south and spent the most lovely four days with my sister and my kids got to know their cousins and our hearts were so full and here’s the point of my story.
Sometimes we face barriers outside of our control.
But sometimes-just sometimes- we are our own barrier.
Sometimes we place limits on ourselves that are rooted in fear.
I have spent a lot of years living in fear and what can I say- it’s been a bummer.
I’m realizing that a life rooted in faith and decisions made in hope offer a much sweeter life. That is where I am finding all this joy I keep spouting about.
It truly is on the other side of fear.
Y’all (I went to Texas so we say y’all now), I made my first cross country road trip solo – with kids in tow- and I could not be more grateful for the time and memories it afforded.
I got out of my own way and removed the imaginary limitations I unwittingly imposed on myself and I had an experience I was craving and it filled a void I didn’t even really know was there.
I don’t know if you’ve notice but this life is moving at a pace I can’t comprehend and I just don’t want to miss it. I find myself wanting to grab up all the opportunities and soak up all the experiences and slow down in all the moments and just live all the life I have left in a way that summons all the joy.
And if I’m going to do that then I have to pause at the crossroads and ask myself if I’m not doing the thing because I can’t or because I won’t.
In turn, I want to offer you that same invitation. The next time you find yourself up against an obstacle, pause and ask yourself: is this actually outside of my control or am I holding myself back?
If it’s the latter I’d like to invite you to get out of your own way and do the dang thang.
I promise you’ll be glad you did.
If you like what you read, I wrote a book!
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