Depression is a beast.
A monster.
Maybe even a demon.
It is ruthless and relentless and I think it might be evil.
It is brain numbing and soul crushing and life sucking.
It taints the very thing we need to release ourselves from its grasp: our mind.
And it destroys the one thing it takes to fight a battle back to wellness: hope.
I think that might be one of the hardest things to do: believe in the whisper of hope when everything inside our head is saying that hope is a lie.
It is so hard, in fact, that it doesn’t make sense to those around us. They (and we) may find them asking:
Why won’t you pull yourself out of it?
Why won’t you accept help?
Why won’t you listen when I tell you that you matter?
Why won’t you do what it takes to come back to me?
It is really hard to accept that it’s because we just… can’t.
So, I’ve been thinking that we might need to armor ourselves with words.
You know, program our brains to automatically default to our pre-determined-hope-filled mantras even when our brain is sick.
So that even when we can’t feel the hope in our minds, we will hear the quiet whisper of hope in our hearts.
And maybe you’re in the thick of it and the words escape you and mantras seem meek so I wanted to share two of mine with you and actually they aren’t mine. I found them on the interwebs and in the spirit of the internet, now they are ours.
I say these to myself every day.
Whenever I feel a twinge of doubt or sadness, I say them.
I have said them so many times that they just come out even when I’m not actually thinking about them and so maybe it’ll help you to try the same.
They are:
“See what happens if you stay.”
And:
“Even if it’s not okay, you will be.”
Depression may steal our hope but our humanity will always, always, always restore it.
Let’s keep going. I promise we will be glad we did.
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