I’ve never been good at absolutes like getting on my mat every morning. I can usually talk myself out of things that make me feel better by explaining them away as a need for rest. I’m not gonna lie, it’s been difficult to discern whether I need rest or if my depression is keeping me low.
About 12 years ago I stopped eating fast food. Not for my cholesterol or body image but because eating it made me so violently ill that it just wasn’t worth it.
Up until about 5 years ago I enjoyed a weekly chocolate Long John (ok twice a week because both hump day and Fri-yay deserve celebratory donuts) from QT and side note: they really have the best donuts. Anyway, I stopped eating them because the post-pastry mental and physical lull I felt just wasn’t worth it.
I’m not good at being proactive towards my mental health but I am learning that I’m pretty good at being preventative towards my mental illness. It sounds like those are the same but turns out that perspective is everything.
It doesn’t really feel good to drag myself out of bed before dawn, slap on some leggings, pull out the mat, and move my body. But it feels worse to be tense all day, lack patience with my family, and feel easily overwhelmed by mundane tasks.
All that to say, sometimes we’ll find more motivation in avoiding consequences than we will in reaping benefits.
Perhaps you’re avoiding the thing because it is just too much, but in those moments it helps to pause and ask yourself: are you finding peace in the avoidance or is it just leading to further overwhelm.
If it’s the latter, you know what to do my friends. Do the dang thang. Your present self may not be on board, but your future self will thank you.
I know we want to do the right thing for what we think is the right reason but not wanting to be lost in darkness is a good enough reason. And while we may strive to be more present, sometimes we have to consider what groundwork we are laying for tomorrow.
It may not be easy to recognize what is helping us but if we allow ourselves a moment to pause, breathe, and notice, we can recognize what is harming us.
And in responding to that, we are able to help ourselves.
If you like what you read, I wrote a book.
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