Boundless Boundaries

This post is just gonna be a short and sweet little ditty. Nothing profound, just more of a checking in of sorts to let y’all know I’m still around and that writing still soothes my soul. But this past month has been a huge lesson in recognizing limits and setting priorities when it comes to my time and energy. I mean let’s be honest, it’s an ongoing process and something I have been working on for the last three years but it seems like every once in a while I have another level of lightbulb moments and you can gather from my lack of Rebel Housewife activity that this past month was a turning on the lightbulb month.

My non-profit- Love Will Foundation– had its first in person fun run this past weekend. I feel like we need to have like a big ol’ moment of silence to recognize the magnitude of this undertaking.

Anyway.

This has been in the works for over a year. It started with the ‘conceptualization phase’ and then moved into the ‘planning phase’ and then went to the ‘how the fuck are we gonna pull this off phase’ to the ‘we got this phase’ to the ‘even though we’ve been planning this for a year how is there so much to do the week of’ phase to the ‘it is here’ phase. I am truly grateful to say that it went off without a hitch and I think we can officially say it was a successful fundraiser! However, even though the event is over, there is all the behind the scenes stuff that still has to happen to officially close out the fundraiser so I think we can officially say this chapter will be over in the next week or so.

All that to say, that is where I have been.

And then to say this. Writing is one of those things that fuels my soul but I refuse to allow it to become a burden or a ‘have to’ or a ‘should do’. Been there. Done that. Didn’t serve me or my mental health well.

I suppose if my income was reliant on writing then I would treat it differently but despite my best efforts its not.

So, I don’t.

I took this past month to give my all to my family, my job, my sanity, and my foundation. And I would like to also insert here that while I did give my all, it wasn’t always pretty or consistent or kind. In fact the people in my real life might be saying to themselves “ya need to work on your “all“‘

But, it is what I had. And I think we need to remember that giving our all doesn’t mean that we are showing up as our best selves. Sometimes it can just mean we are showing up and that counts too.

Anyway.

I think I just wanted to pop on here real quick (God, I missed saying that) and leave you with some food for thought.

We really do live in a rise and grind, slay the day, turn side hustle into empire kind of world. Not to get all soap-boxy, but I do think social media feeds that to us more than it would if we weren’t online. We see a lot of influencers doing just that and being successful at it. And then we see all the people who try and mimic that and suddenly we wonder if what we are doing is really what we want.

I know I have spent a lot of precious time and limited energy wondering the same. Getting up and going to work. Bringing home a paycheck. Taking care of my kids. It all seems so mundane. And then I would go on to my newsfeed and see these larger than life social media personalities making boo-koo bucks. Like remodeling large scale homes in expensive areas bucks and taking the kind of vacation I’d have to save for years to take and then still somehow putting most of it on credit card bucks. And it definitely diminished the joy I found in my own life.

I often think about how much more I enjoy my life and what I am doing when I have no fucking clue what anyone else is doing. Like I tell my kids, “worry ’bout yourself.”

I know I said “all that to say” like 20 minutes ago and I still haven’t said anything so here’s what I’m really trying to say. You don’t have to slay anything. You don’t have to rise and grind. You don’t have to turn hobbies into side hustles. You can live a regular old life and find so much fucking joy that you will wonder why you spent so much time chasing after things that weren’t serving you.

So now, for real, all that to say…

While I enjoy writing and would love to have it be a full time gig, it turns out I’m not willing to make the sacrifices that it would take to make that happen. I’m not willing to gamble what little financial security I have for my kids on it. I am not willing to work myself past the point of exhaustion for it. I am not willing to take all my time away from my people for it. I am not willing to put all my energy into chasing whatever it is and stepping out of the present moment longer than I have to for it.

I’m just not . And that’s okay.

I don’t think that makes my joy anything less. In fact, I think it makes it mean more. I have learned to set boundaries and priorities and to be okay when I can’t do all the things. And to be okay with just being ordinary.

I guess I just want to leave you with this: if this post resonates with you, I want you to be okay with that too. I want you to know that you can take time to rest and breathe and not miss out on a damn thing. In fact, I have found that I miss out on less when I slow down.

So. My final all that to say: chase the things that liven up your soul. Even if they aren’t bringing you money. There are some things that money can’t buy and I think that rest and joy and time are some of them. And that’s worth something.