I have a confession that shouldn’t be embarrassing but it is embarrassing. I mean I’ve spoken about suicidal ideation for Christ’s sake but the fact that I, gulp, snore, is, to me, more intimate a reveal.
But there it is.
I have been living in a fog and impressing my children with my “hardcore” and “epic” snoring talent.
Insert blushing emoji face here. (Is there a blushing emoji face because if there isn’t there should be but in case there isn’t, let’s insert a GIF)
They also would say “can you snuggle me but can you not fall asleep?“
Nope. No. No, I can’t. I can either snuggle or stay awake, but definitely not both and definitely not both at the same time.
I could not get out of bed in the mornings; I was so exhausted. I honestly thought it was my depression keeping me down and that was just the way it was.
I would hit a witching hour around 3 pm and it was all I could do to stay awake.
Notice my use of the past tense verbiage?!
That’s because I discovered a life altering treatment and Imma bout to share it with you.
I come from a long line of CPAP users and also I have worked in the field for near a decade so I knew I had sleep apnea but I didn’t want to know I had sleep apnea, ya know?
But I do. And now I sleep with CPAP.
Only slightly embarrassed by that fact if I’m being honest.
And now I wake up and get out of bed. And now I can stay awake past 3 pm. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m still ready for bed at 6 pm but I can at least stay awake until then. And now, perhaps most importantly, I can snuggle and stay awake.
So there’s that.
But, I have a deeper point for my Thursday thought and it’s this:
I’m trying to sell you on something.
I am selling you on the idea that you have to take care of yourself. Mental illness can wreak havoc on your mind and body but so can other illnesses and conditions. Don’t underestimate or assume that everything you feel is because of anxiety and or depression especially if you have been putting off an appropriate medical work up or if your gut is telling you there is something more.
Listen to your body.
Sometimes we have depression and..
Notice when the symptoms don’t match the diagnosis and respond.
I know we don’t have the time. I know we are too busy and we will get to it when things slow down, but I have a secret:
We never get more time. And it is never going to slow down.
So make the time because you are worth it.