One thing I filtered on the socials was my mouth. Based on my social media accounts you would probably assume that cuss words are not in my vocabulary and I was intentional about that because I didn’t want to offend anyone in case I went viral one day.
Maybe at some point in my journey I will be called to work on my mouth but today is not that day nor is it a 2022 resolution but I do like to give fair warning in case you followed me there and are new here because this post may let a few $%^&’s fly and that was a freebie so without further ado…
Holy hell this year is almost over. I don’t know how you feel about it, but 2020 and 2021 have felt like one big long continuous endless stream of fucked up days. I have no idea what 2022 has up its sleeve but I’m cautiously pessimistic.
Yes. I know the expression usually pertains to optimism but one thing that the last two years have drained from me is my optimism.
Not personally.
I have plenty of optimism in my personal life. I have begun to find my stride with a morning routine of Jesus (I know Christians don’t cuss but this one does) and or yoga with a side of coffee and quiet time to collect my thoughts before the kids wake up.
Okay I couldn’t even write that with a straight face but I am optimistic that one day that’ll be my go to routine.
In truth, said routine currently consists of:
“I’ve been very short tempered with my kids so maybe I should check in with my spirituality,”
or “Fuck. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up and maybe it’s time to stretch so that doesn’t keep happening. Let me turn on some yoga so that my muscles maintain some form of pliable sinew.”
Wow can I digress.
Let me return to my original train of thought if I can even remember what that was. Hold please while I reread my introduction.
…
Oh yes. I have been drained of optimism and what I am referring to is when it comes to the state of our world. You know, of our collective well being. Which I find confusing because according to many social media and online personalities practically everyone in the universe is working on being their best selves and living their best lives and minding their own business but yet there are so many assholes.
I suppose the assholes will continue into 2022 and I also suppose that they are none of my business so insert why I’m lacking in the optimism department but also I have hopes that maybe everyone – ok not everyone because that would make me optimistic – but enough people will get sick enough of all the assholes and their bullshit that somethings will find themselves changing.
Like COVID, namely.
And politics.
And everyone talking about COVID and politics.
I guess what I’m really hoping from 2022 is a change of subject.
A new topic to discuss and one that doesn’t bring out the ignorance and hatred from all those joining in on the conversation. And I think I’m also cautiously hoping for (but also am completely convinced will not come out of 2022) compassion and kindness and compromise.
One painfully slow lesson I’ve learned over my years is that I have no control over any of that. I can’t control where the conversations lead and I can’t control when this fucking pandemic will end. I can’t change what 2022 already has up its sleeve and I’m so damn sick of grandiose New Year’s resolutions that lose their pizzazz by January 7th that it’s hard to see straight.
My cautious pessimism on the matter leads me to continue to work on controlling the only thing I can…
…myself.
Now I’m not calling these resolutions because that would make me a hypocrite but also, here are my resolutions.
I will continue to stay away from the online world and work on my continued presence in the real one. I will keep fasting from all the things that work to get an emotional reaction from me because the truth is when my emotions are evoked, I become one of the assholes.
I guess the only thing that I can resolve to do is continue to filter what I put into my mind (see ya later social media and partisan news sites) and just focus on what is within my reach (hello family and friends) and try to radiate some sort of positivity into the circle I directly affect (I’m looking at you people I carried for 9 months). I’m cautiously optimistic that if it can ripple out into just one other person (no pressure kids) and keep them from being an asshole then 2022 has potential.
Oh and also, Milo Monday is bound to change the tides.
I mean look at this face for fuck’s sake.
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