Here’s The Thing

Let me tell you.

I don’t want this blog to turn into a social media bash fest but like it’s the only thing going on in my head right now so I guess it is kind of going to work itself out that way.

Do you know what’s great about that? That it can. Because this is actually my space.

Aw, remember MySpace? Okay, never mind.

My social media Rebel Housewife pages and posts were always filtered. Curated if you will. I didn’t intend for them to be that way – I was striving and reaching for authenticity. But when you are trying to get your posts shared and liked and not buried in the noise while simultaneously not getting yourself reported or shadow banned or cancelled for saying- not even the wrong thing- just a thing that was taken the wrong way, and to top it off, staying niche focused- you know giving your audience what they came for…

Damn, I’m exhausted just rehashing that.

My point is that the line of authenticity and people pleasing becomes blurry A.F.

I guess I should stick to my rebel ways and throw up my favorite finger and say in my yoga power pose stance:

“Take me or leave me.”

But nope.

My people pleasing personality struggles with that harrrrrd.

Not to mention, social media is a rented space man. Anyone who is using it: we don’t own our content or our photos or our words. We put them up and in exchange for sharing our creativity, pouring out our hearts, and actively baring our souls, the social giants can re-purpose and re-use it anyway they choose whenever they choose.

Because it takes me a minute to make a point I’ll go ahead and let you know here it is: it made me think twice about everything I put into the world for more than one reason and that stifles a person’s personality. Or at least it did mine.

It’s been nice to just come to my laptop, sit on my couch under one of my “I bought way too many fluffy blankets this season” blankets and just start typing.

It’s therapeutic. And it’s what I always enjoyed about writing.

So that is my suuuuuuper long way of telling you that I have some concepts that I want to explore here in this space. I don’t have any answers. None. Not a one.

Unless my kids ask me how I know they’re lying and then I know everything but otherwise…not-ta.

I am not going to sit here behind a screen and preach from a soap box as to how the world should be. How you should think or what you should do.

I’ve realized I am an observer. A people watcher if you will. And I’ve been watching.

And now I’m wondering.

So I just want to ask the questions. I want to ask them in a judgement free space. I want to process all the noise in my head and I want to share that with you.

Why?

I kind of want to hear what you think and your perspective. Not kind of.

I do.

And you can’t do that on social media. Your posts and comments get hi-jacked by hate spewing trolls and although that kind of attention is great to get noticed in the algorithm it’s not so great for the integrity of the conversation and more candidly, it takes a toll on the human spirit.

Trolls take their toll. Now, that’s something a writer would say amiright?

Anyway.

I’ve spent a lot of years forming opinions and shouting them out and don’t get me wrong, I’m still opinionated. And I’m probably gonna shout them out from time to time but I have also learned something absolutely mind boggling.

Everyone has an opinion and everyone thinks they’re right.

Now I know that sounds condescending but I’m being serious. It is a fact in which I have become acutely aware.

And then here’s the kicker that takes my mind boggle to mind blown.

When I look at the end game- of what we are all saying- of all the opinions so many of us have…we actually all want the same thing. Sure, we disagree on how to get there, but our goals, friends, it’s the same.

Insert mind blown GIF here. Actually let’s actually insert said GIF.

There we go.

Quick example to throw at you to bring the point home but also try not to get super tight chested and angry when you read it because I’m tensing up as I’m about to say this but I dare say that we are all sick as fuck of COVID-19. I think we are all over it. I think we are all ready to stop talking about it. I think we all want it to end. I mean does anyone in their right mind (no judgement) want this to keep up?

Okay, so we got that out of the way. Do you know where all the disagreements come from? The words, the arguments, the emotion? It’s in how it ends.

That. There.

That’s what I want to explore. Not specifically COVID because that conversation is one I have to have every fucking day in my day job that I cannot even bring that shit here.

But in all the things.

So, let’s take Tuesdays and explore the how. Let’s ask the hard questions. Let’s do the impossible task of hearing the opinions of others and commit to listening to them.

I think the absolute worst thing that could happen is we realize we all actually want the same things but how we achieve said things is where we get hung up. And I’ve been thinking that we are getting really hung up on making everyone agree on how to get there that we are actually going nowhere.

I feel like we have lost the concept of compromise. There’s a lot of you’re either with us or against us. Whoever us is.

Me? I think us is humans in this together and maybe if we listen more than we speak then it’ll be easier to believe that.

I promise to remember that just because we may disagree on the how doesn’t make us enemies- if you will.